"dun promise me anything. i dun want to get disappointed again."

"i will make it up to you i promise ok?"

"dun promise me anything. i dun want to get disappointed again."

singaporemarathon.com

tomorrow is the day.

the day i'm gonna join close to 30,000 people in the race.

run with me, singapore. =)

www.singaporemarathon.com

=D

my metal tooth buddy

i'm now a trendy*, toothy, pimply adolescent.

i've placed my life into the hands of a set of metal braces for a complete biological/identity transformation for the next 1 year 5months and 3 weeks.

hopefully i can get kids' meal at Japanese restaurants.

and no, no more partying. i dun wanna get ID'ed everytime. Already, i've produced it once upon entry to MOS in May/April - and that's without my metal friends on board.

adios for now.

*according to statistics shared by my colleague on "what are the trends amongst youths these days", donning our metal tooth buddy is one of them.

can.not.understand.

can.not.understand.

why does mum wanna be such a babysitter to that one-hell of a reliant pig??

she bought a packet of rice home for her & dad without realising me & that asshole is at home. which is fine for me, i rather let them eat e rice, while i go find some biscuits or something.

but NO, she asks ME to go buy one more packet, why? so that me & her can share. so i asked, since u want to eat, why din u buy one more when u're on e way bk since u alr bought one pkt??

i'm very puzzled cos wasnt that freaking pkt she bought it for her & pa??

and e more i queried, the more stupid and misconstrued her answers become - "cos when i called home, ah siang (my younger bro) din tell me you guys are at home!"

"what the **** you talking about?? i'm saying, i dun need to eat, and since now u dun want to share with pa, why din u buy one more pkt??"

"all ah siang's fault, never tell me you all are at home!"

"WTF?? what's that got to do with us being at home??"

"FINE LA FINE LA! dun want me buy, i dun need you to buy ok! i can go down n buy it myself!"

"?!?!?!"

then i realised, she wants to let asshole take that packet of rice she bought. blardy hell. is he king or what?? he so old alr if hungry dunno how to feed himself is it?? what a bummer! pui! despise him totally~! why is ma so panicky when she din buy for him?? HUH??? he'll beat her up is it? didnt buy, didnt buy la! can ask that f**king reliant pig to go buy his own stupid lunch what! why swallow in self-pity, tell me go and buy knowing i wun, and make ME feel guilty cos she end up buying it herself! she's not a blardy slave to us right?? why is she so scared he'll get upset with her?? huh? huh? huH!??!

if she had wanted to buy one more pkt for Herself, fine, i'll go. but her arguments didnt make enough sense! she wanted to secretly let that pig eat too but din dare say it out cos she KNEW i'll never go.

argh!

Pissed, i am.

"Kaylee and her friend who didn’t seem to have much energy left and was not interested in engaging in any kind of conversation."

YA RIGHT.

pulled this out from someone's blog - someone whom i'd thought would b more understanding than that.

so much for being "culturally sensitive" when e basic understanding & concern towards another human is missing.

Yeah, it's a Halloween party, and yes we should look very enthusiastic. But it's a freaking TUESDAY after a LONG day of work and my colleague was alr blardy tired yet she actually accompanied me to join the silly party. I dun see why she's obliged to be "interested in engaging in any kind of conversation".

I'm very protective of my friends, if anyone realises, and i absolutely wun accept such one-sided selfish remark.

Am pissed, very much.

NTU Student Survey

HAHAHAHA...this is fucking FUNNIE!!

Why didnt i get such a lecturer last time!!

i cant sleep.

i cant sleep.

oh, btw i cut my hair. short.

i still cant sleep.

i'm doing research for my other Account Director.

i'm not sleeping.

i think i'll play sudoku.

cos i just cant sleep!!



i cant do this alone, i need more support than that. :(

you know something is wrong...

...when u start having difficulty breathing

and are always grouchy...

and pimples start popping...

and you eye pretty girls with that sour look on your face...

and you spend 30 mins just finding the correct combination of clothes (and nothing looks right)...

...and you step on the scale and find yourself THREE BLOODY KG HEAVIER!!!

*CRIES*

WHY ME?!!

simplicity

i realise if i stare at "epitome of a complex thinker" for too long, i get a headache from thinking i'm so "complex".

it's very stressful.

thus i've changed my blog title to "simple does it"!

:)

DID

not Direct Inward Dialling but Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Thanks to a Hong Kong drama series that i'm currently watching, i'm now "in-touch with the pyschological world".

Many a times i'll wonder if i'm suffering the same pyschological problems like people in the drama.

Dissociative Identity Disorder described in simple terms refers to a person experiencing multiple personalities without knowing it.

Meaning, let's say you're called "Ms Tame". In the afternoon you might become "Ms Chatty" and at night you'll turn to "Ms Wild".

With "Ms Tame" being the main personality and "Ms Chatty" and "Ms Wild" being the sub-personalities, you'll find yourself not being able to remember your afternoons and nights, for example.

Why does such pyschological disorder occur?

It's usually due to the over-suppressing of emotions. (that's what the tv says)

Let's say u're usually a chatty person. Then you meet with a life-changing experience that made you quiet most of the time. But being chatty has always been a part of you. So, during times when you're unaware, Chatty comes up, often quite the extreme version.

That makes me think - since i'm having cold war inhouse, i'm suppressing my emotions quite a bit cos i'm the only outcast in the house. would i get DID too?

but more often than not, things happen due to the self-fulfilling prophecy too.

see. sometimes tv can be educational too.

retarded image uploading

is there a faster way to add an image to my blog? all this "clickbrowse-centralisedthis-clickdone" PER IMAGE is driving me nuts. i need something that lets me easily and freely position things around my blog. EASY - the key is E-A-S-Y. Arent there better ways around things? I'm sure i'm not the only one complaining.

*grumbles*

p/s: i'm very much aware of my current pms mood. BLAH~

life.explained.

If life can be explained in 7 stages, then i would only have reached Stage 2.

Stage 1:

Stage 2:

Stage 3:

Stage 4:

Stage 5:

Stage 6:

Stage 7:

2 weeks

it's been 2 weeks since we got into any major fights or disagreements. most of the time even sweet.

i hope things will remain this way for a loooong time.

*crosses fingers*

one sunday afternoon

alone on a sunday afternoon
waking up early
with nothing to do
except to laze around
and to start the daily scoop.

nothing on my agenda
nothing on my mind

i wander i wander, and i stop.

down the road of memory lane
i thought i was a fool
perhaps i'm not.

some say i'm silly
i think they might be true.

a mind of my own?
i often asked.

a tour down friendster lane
to get back my touch with reality.

nothing beats staying sane
and staying true to yourself.

there's nothing more intriguing
than observing different human acts.

u can tell, from friendster profiles
some childish
some sadistic
some self-centered
some big-hearted
some humorous
some selective
some dark
some deep
some self-conscious
some insensitive
some shy
some bold
some profile-shy
some profile-loud

whatever they may be
we are all human with one objective -

to have a presence
in the cyber "reality".

whether it's just a facade
or a reflection of one's true self.

-----------------------------

sometimes i wonder
whether i'm real.

i don't seem to know my true self
i can't place an identity to myself.

i observe my surroundings all too carefully
i weigh my choices all too carefully
i watch my actions all too carefully

so carefully
i lose my sense of sanity.

i think too much of the
why-s, what-s, how-s, when-s;
that i forgot my
am-s, love-s, no-s, and yes-s.

so much so
that i over-rely on misconstrued methods
to understand myself.

am i stubborn?
yes, you are.
then yes, i am.

am i strong?
yes, sometimes u are.
then yes, sometimes i am.

am i cheerful?
well, but u're stubborn.
then ok, then i must be selectively cheerful.

am i a nice person?
u're sometimes evil, let's put it this way.
then yes, i'm half an angel, half a demon.

i allow others to define me.
how about myself?
does others' opinions count so much,
when i should be the one who should know myself best?

or did i just define who i am?

i get a headache just thinking too deep
i should stop
for the sake of my head.

it's getting too heavy
spinning webs of chocolate gold.

For my sanity good
i should stop.

Mummy the funny - Part II

Mum: "Who did the hanging of clothes just now?"

Me: "Not me lah."

Mum: "wah see, ur sis even helped to cook porridge for us."

Me: "you can marry her off alr lah."

Mum: "papa thinks u're still immature. still so unstable."

taken aback, i said defensively, "Yaya YA, i'm still immature. Cannot meh? i'm only 23. i have the right to be immature STILLLLL. it's okay if i dunno how to cook, i'm not of marriageable age what."

and rolled my eyes some more.

Mum: "no, you know how to cook, just lazy."

Me: "....... "

Mum: "So, who did you go out with yesterday night for a movie uh? must be new bf righttt." and she gives me an evil raise-raise-eyebrow look.

Me: "No lah. i have alot of frens, cannot meh." *Sweat drop*

Mum: "you choose bf must eyes open big big okay. oh, few nights ago i dreamt that u got back together with that-who leh. "

Me: "!?!?! WHO??"

Mum: "Nor, the one who wanted to take pic with u on convoction but u avoided him like plague one lor."

Me: "!!! I where got avoid him!! he where got want to take pic with me?!? He wanted to take pic with YOU & pa, not meee!"

Mum: "Aiya he's finding excuses mah, actually he wants to take pic with u one lah."

Me: ".................................."

Then she went on to give me a good whole 20 mins lecture on how i should have given TW a 2nd chance, how nice he is, how blah blah blah blah.....OH my god! I think they want him as their son lor, and drag me into it, AGAIN. -_-"'

sometimes mummy drives me crazy. sometimes she says the darnest things, i can't help but wonder where i inherited that "duh"-kind-of-humour from.

Mummy the funny - Part I

"mummy, ni hai wo~!!"

"tomorrow run again lor."

"......"

Sobsob, that 45mins of jogging has gone to waste!! All becos mummy dearest tempted me with a crispy golden fried chicken drumstick! Before that, i alr ate 3 pieces of durian fruit, 1.5 slices of Wu Chin Leong bak gua, 2 cans of 100Plus, AND, 1 bowl of Yoshinoya's mini congee with deep fried salmon pieces. (>.<)!

Another funny thing that mum said -

~~~~~~~~
"i think ah siang has a gf"

"ARE U SURE!?! How did you know?? He told u?" i couldnt believe my ears.

"no lah, but i think so. i told him that he "jiao nu peng you" is okay, just dun "anyhow anyhow". then he smile smile at me." she said, matter-of-factly.

"oooooohh..." at the same time my brain scans for past conversations with ah siang on who could potentially be THE gf.

"aiya my son so handsome, of cos la," she continued.

"*PENGZ*"

i almost fell off my chair. that was the most unexpected response from her.

~~~~~~~~

but yeah, she's right, my kiddo bro's got his charm and his way with the ladies. except he has this long sideburns and super tail-long fringe that make him look very ah-bengish. been naggin at him to cut it off, but to no avail.

this conversation set me off on a "sherlock holmes" journey to find out who THE gf is. And i have my conclusion~~~!!!

i suspect..... she's....... someone by the name of "J*****n". Even their blogskins are from the same creator lehhh!!! --> "&MUSIC" and "&LOVE". Awwww. how romantic.

So, siang, am i correct?? lol

shop shop shop!

5 hours of shopping-crazy. From 11.30am to 4.30pm.

met ah yong at tampines to shop for his metrosexual, attention-seeking pink shirt so that he can fulfill the tall order of meeting the "Pink Theme" of a classmate's birthday party.

and me? without fail, the impulsive once-a-month shopaholic side of me surfaced to conquer TM & CS with much gusto and speed. It helped that everywhere's going at "20% OFF". i wonder whether GSS is really over or not.

Mondo
1 pair of black heels + 1 pair of biege-shimmering string heels ($19.90 for 1st pair, $10 for 2nd)
= $29.90

Pepper Plus
1 green lace-bubbly party top ($24) + 1 white crop pants ($30 @ 20% off)
= $48.00

G2000
2 long-sleeve collar shirts in purple & black strips + 1 beige bootcut pants ($23 each)
= $69.00

Surfer Paradise
1 grey surfer print top for ah-siang
= $19.00

Total damage = $165.90!!!!

Over-spent! :S

The only consolation is that i managed to buy many items (all sale pieces, mind u) compared to my inglorious past when i indulged in full-priced Zara or Mango, spending >$200 and ending up with that few pathetic pieces.

nonetheless, it was such an over-indulgence still. A sense of "bloatedness" overwhelmed me at the end of the entire trip, it felt like i bought more than i could stomach.

Sigh, starve me of my occasional shopping and this is what happens.

Anyway, ah yong bought a really nice shade of pink polo tee from Nautica, setting him back by $39. Given the crazy "Final Sale" at G2000, he also got himself a long-sleeve shirt plus a nice strippy black pants @ $48 in total. A guy's long-sleeve shirt cost only $19! Can u imagine that? And women's long-sleeve shirt/pants/crop pants only cost $23 each! i think it's definitely a bargain! I didn't set out to shop at G2000 (or rather, i never planned to shop today at all) but the sale was just too irresistable!! Please, go and stock up on ur office wear today, it's worth it.

Now, it's time for me to sit back, relax and devour all these goodies bought during the shopaholic-famished day.

You Gotta Be A Selfish Lover (sometimes)...

"Selfishness is good. I don't mean complete selfishness - that would be a crime.

But practise moderation in being selfish is actually beneficial for one's mental health.

How many times have you believed yourself to be a giver? Everyone says they give, while seldom people admit that they are takers. When a relationship fails, all you think is how much you've given to *that* person and shouldn't have wasted your time in the first place. And that led to your depression, your PMS, your sadness etc because you can't stop hating the person who has cheated/disappointed you. In short, yes, you feel shortchanged.

Nobody asked you to give *that* much in the first place. I am sure you did it out of your own free will. You went head over heels, feelings ruled over your own mind. I know it's hard to hold back. When love flows, all else flows.

That said, from the little I experiences I have been through, just like you, maybe something is wrong with ourselves. Start practising self-love, I preach. Really, we have to love ourselves more than others (unless you are Jesus Christ) at times. In what ways? I am not asking you to masturbate (I know you do, it should never be a suggestion on my side).

Stop buying things for your other half. It's time you pamper yourself. Treat yourself to a good Spa treatment or buy yourself a new toy (I suggest Creative's Zen Touch?). Rework your priorities. Dedicate more time, and I mean PRIME times to friends and family. Don't try to meet your good friend for a sorry Monday evening and then dedicating the whole weekend for your other half. Simply put, don't privilege your partner with fantastic timings and subjugate your friends to pathetic 1hr weekday lunches or mad-rush sale shoppings.

More importantly, stop alluding what the future holds for the both of you, unless you are getting married. Yes, we must plan for the future, but always remember to see TWO plans. Plan A is how you would want to live your live as a SINGLE 1,2,5 or 10 years down the road and Plan B is how you would want to live your life as an ATTACHEE xxx years down the road. If your relationship fails, at least you have prepared a vision for yourself as a SINGLE beforehand. The future seems clearer with more plans, just like buying several insurance policies.

More often than none, people end up depressed/suicidal/mad/angry/frustrated/you-fill-in-the- blanks after a break up because the future that they have pictured with their partners have been completely dashed. They see no light at the end of the tunnel for maybe a day to even years. Getting over a relationship is hard when someone refuses accept reality and live in the past i.e to hang on to ideals which were never meant to come true.

Start making an insurance policy for yourself today. This insurance is very unique. The beneficiary is yourself. That when you get dumped, you still have yourself, and you still have your own life, albeit single and different, but well prepared and yes, bright. "


by Ron Tan, NUS

http://www.funkygrad.com/think/displayarticle.php?artID=495&subcat=relationships

The Norm

Is it important to conform to the norm? So that you'll be perceived as easy going and "friendly"?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of that? And if not, how so and why? Come on, suggestions!

a wonder too many

sometimes you wonder why you are even upset over friends who judge you.

then you know why.

cos u treat them more like close friends than they do to u.

sometimes you wonder why people pay lip-service.

then you know why.

cos they really dun really care; lip-service? how convenient it is!

sometimes you wonder whether people around you really bothered & cared.

then you know.

they don't give a shit about people they already have a fixed impression of. Com'on, you're just juicy news to them!

sometimes you wonder,

and wonder,

and wonder,

but arrive at no answer.

you know you're on your own.

Everyone leeches on someone else to elevate that good feeling you get for yourself.

Well, what can you expect? sincere people? oh maybe. there are just that few ones. Those you don't really care about but are the ones who really care about you. How ironic eh? ahhh life's an irony on its own.

Isn't it? =)

nothingness

i'm so tired but i'm so full

shld i walk my dog to burn off e fats or head to bed??

composed being

Suddenly. the easily agitated one has become very calm.

very very composed.

no longer the struggling girl who didnt know what's happening but only knew she had to lower her dignity to apologize for something she didnt even understand why she'd been blamed for.

now she's clear-headed. now I'M clear. on what is right and what is wrong. what is reasonable and what is not. when i'm unreasonahle and when i'm wrong. when to apologise and when to not. when to show respect and when to behave such that i'll be respected.

now i've learnt the rules of The game - to be in control, is the key.

However in the process i realise i've lost the ability to freely show my emotions. I keep them subdued, in order to be objective. It might be a good thing for people around me. But I feel like i've lost a part of my identity along with it.

Perhaps it's not a good thing after all. For one day it might explode.

The only hope is that it'll never explode.

~yoda

Dolly Bali

In a nutshell, Bali is an entire island dolled up, educated and groomed to suck tourists' money, whether it's through endless-peddling, overpriced boutiques or culturally-compulsory tipping. What an evil and successful plot of making money.

It's weird walking around the island not being able to finding some decent & "real" priced items. Or at least fixed price. Of course, i'm discounting the bigger & branded boutiques.

Almost everywhere you go, you're sure those suckers will quote you at least 300% to 800% more. @#$%^& The bargaining gets tiring after a while and you know that if they are just plain overcharging you, you just wouldn't be bored to participate in the "give me your price la, i give you good balinese price" crap.

Other than that, there're the plus points of Bali -

1) Grilled Seafood
- The grilled crab is orgasmically GOOD. The meat itself tastes better than ANY of the crabs i've tasted in sg. Not even No Signboard Restaurant's crab come as close - theirs is just big. It's either the crabs are naturally tastier, or the Balinese chefs are better (i almost typed "bigger". Man, what was i thinking. And no, i dunno about that. I wouldn't want to. The tourist shop men there are disgusting wolf-whistlers & lechers who loves touching female tourists whenever they pass by tight alleys.).

Anyway, as i was saying, the crabs were apparently marinated in their special spiced sauce before going into the wok, giving the meat a very yummy taste (rem, the meat is inside the thick hard shell) . The meat of crabs in sg are never tasty on its own. They're usually bland, unless you dip them into those go-together black pepper sauce/chilli crab sauce.

2) Spa
For a good 2hr 30mins (it stretched to almost 3hrs) setting you back at ard 67SGD (including abt 4SGD of tipping), you get to enjoy the entire steps of spa. Royalty treatment awaits you when you first stepped in. You'll be served with a sweet cool drink; i suspect it's some jasmine honey liquid. After which, they bring little cute tubs of scented oil to let you sniff & choose the one you prefer for your massage later (or scrub/flower bath? i'm still not sure about that) . It's a choice of Jasmine, Green Tea, Frangipani or Lavendar, and i chose Frangipani - a beautiful floral scent. After which, you'll be ushered into a private (or was it just becos we were the only customers then) room and we changed into a robe. Hot & cold jacuzzi, steam bath and sauna awaits us right beside the changing area. Then, proceed to a pretty decent massage and a good scrub that'll put you to lala land, ending off with a cool shower & flower bath (like what you see in an advertisement, except mine used purple, white & red frangipani petals - i think) that comes with an oh-so yummy ginger tea. A warm sweet drink that is a little spicy, immediately wakes me up from my slight slumber - uber goodness! Love it!

3) Art
Amazing painters, beautiful paintings. That's the scene that greeted us in Ubud, another province of Bali. Except the lecherous art house salesman who kept staring at me.

4) Lanus
Our 2nd-day tour guide. Thanks to my colleague, this is one very experienced and humorous tour guide who will joke abt being a "Trainee Driver" whenever he jams on his brakes/stalls his rented blue Suzuki Swift (Balinese driving is horrible btw. Small motorcyles pop out of tiny alley lanes and onto the main road without warning and cars move in 3 lines instead of the drawed 2 lines). He's a thin man around his fifties, i reckon. Feeding us with his deep knowledge of the Balinese culture & history (how Dutch dominance during e early days has influenced much of the Balinese art, etc.), his own marriage style - "Elopement" (his own words!) when i asked about the Balinese marriage culture (apparently eloping is legal! OOO!), and his good shopping & eating recommendations, he totally was awesome. I like him oredi. =)

5) Beautiful clear sea @ Tanjong Benoa
This is the place me, zhu & nom went on our first morning in Bali. Too bad nomy wasn't into diving, so only me & zhu tried it out - for the first time in our lives. (I think zhu did many of her firsts in Bali. :))

Initially i'd thought the Tanjong Benoa beach was not as clean & crystal clear as i'd hoped, cos it seemed like there were patches of dark stuff in the ocean when i stood by the shore. However, after stepping into the speedboat & some distance into the ocean, you'll realise that those dark patches are actually the coral reefs and the water is perfect-clear. Very beautiful. :) If only I had my camera with me.

Diving was abit scary for me as i struggled for a while, even ignoring my instructor & kicked my way up to the surface when i was 3 metres below the water. No matter what happens, divers are supposed to remain calm & still do hand signals to their accompanied partner to tell them what's wrong. I didn't cos I was so panicky at that split second. All i'd wanted is to get out of the water IMMEDIATELY.

I'd taken in too much water cos i breathed wrongly (was supposed to breathe through the mouth using the respirator, keeping the lips closed around the mouthpiece at all times) and this made me panic really badly. I almost drowned when i was around 7-8 years old, and that fear for water always put me off any underwater sports till now. (But I still love any on-the-surface watersports! *grins*)

Round 2 was fine, though still abit shaken & tense. Thank god i din screw up then, when i actually went 7 metres under. If not i wonder if i'll be able to survive even if i kicked my way up. But the overall experience was awesome, despite setting me back by 109SGD (inclusive of parasailing). I got to see marine life, feed fishes & get suckled by them (zhu got "bitten" by a greedy 30cm long one), touch reefs (trust me, this part is really not that fantastic cos it felt mouldy) and more importantly, experience being underwater almost 10 metres down.

=========================================================

"What is the difference between Ubud & Kuta & Seminyak?" I asked Lanus.
"Nothing. They're all the same," Lanus answered in a very cool manner.
"HUH? But how can it be? I'm sure they're different."
"Yes there might be some differences, but they're generally the same. They all have the same things - hotel, spa, shops - they're all "built" (ok, i cant find a better word here) as tourist spots. "

----------------------------------------------------------------------

There you go. Bali is a made-up paradise. With towns built just for tourism, locals educated in only in tourism and activities tailored just for tourism, the entire island is groomed into tourism-perfection. Even the people there said so.

People-pleaser, am not.

i know i'm not gonna make it in this industry. i just know it.

I hate pleasing people cos i need their help. it's just too unnatural. I please people becos i like them naturally. not becos i think i'll need their help next time. but that's what people do. particularly so in this industry.

sigh. yes yes yes, everywhere u go is the same. but what can be worse - get stuck in a place u know u'll loathe more & more or continue to be in a lousy place and get moulded into a person you originally loathe?

now i know i'm more obstinate & opininated that i'd thought. To think that i used to believe i was the "young, impressionable & easily-influenced" girl with a lack of self-opinion.

I guess being in the workforce builds character and brings out the real personality in yourself. You stumble, you hit rocks, you learn. You say stupid stuff, you do stupid mistakes, you learn. You get mocked at, get despised at, you learn.

Some people are just so good at this - they just naturally know what to do at every point in their lives. I need to get myself scalded before knowing what is wrong.

blah. what a lousy week to begin with.

~yoda~

Rollin' good times

It's always therapeutic meeting up with an old friend for plain old shopping spree.

The feeling of the good old buddies is back. *smiles*

though it was a short, last-min-arranged-i-dragged-her-down thing, it was still good. no particular events that happened that needed dramatic crying (the usual old stuff that happens whenever i see her last time); rather it was just plain meetup, single me talking happily about nothing particularly sad, just sharing my life and she sharing hers.

Ahhh...how nice & simple & warm a feeling! i miss it! at first i was wondering whether getting her out of her hse to meetup/shop was too last min a decision that it might seem forceful on my part. And though she was LATE (haha), i dun think it was a bad decision after all! hehehe. it was a good meetup. i dunno, i just felt this is one of the few times i din look her up just to present to her my emotionally wreaked self, but one of the times of joy of meeting up purely for each other's company that we enjoyed thoroughly tho it was short. (ok, maybe more like keeping me company but then again)

we talked about girly shopping stuff, people in our lives, work, families, & finally intimate stuff (haha). It was a balance of everything, and i like! :D Not particularly skewed towards guys, which used to be my usual topic whenever i meet/contact her (yawn yawn. that was so yesterday. i dun need a guy anymore. lol. singlehood is a good feeling.). Now, it's about girl freedom and a good mix of an update on each other's lives so far.

haiyo zai, i'm glad i pulled u out last min. it's been so long and it's such a good old feeling tho it's a short less than 3hrs! :D

1st time in 8 months

Finally down.

1st time in almost 8 months. I've never taken sick leave since starting out at this co. Or for a matter-of-fact, never since i graduated & started work. i think so. i hope i'm not gonna break the record tml.

1st time in 8 months, feeling the highest level of stress until i started to hyperventile - almost went into a panic attack which would've threatened to make me look like a fool. Technology playing tricks on me - 3 repeated emails can't get sent to my client, 4 faxes didn't go through, and i waited for one hour before my client can approve. and i was running late. not even just "out of time"

i might have broken down a few times during my stay here due to stress induced by fellow colleagues. But they weren't so serious, cos after the tears came out, i could still bitch about it, nag at it for a month, get some pacifying from my other colleagues and i'll be fine in an hr. This lasted for 3 hrs before it subsided. Yes, i counted. But no, i didn't cry at all. I took deep breaths, took a slow long walk to the bus stop and from the bus stop to the IJ Home, i walked up and down my company's stairs, I talked my to colleagues to distract myself....but I only got more agitated. I almost snapped at my supervisor. But the tension never left me.

i couldn't believe that technology, the one that i love most, ALMOST did me in at the 11th hour. but then again, i should have practised to be more calm during hiccups like dat, in order to think of alternatives to solve the issue.

Starving, for the 1st time in 8 months. i only had 2/5 of a nonya dumpling & 1/2 glass of tea in the morning, 3 small cups of milo during my 2pm-5pm long meeting, & finally 1 ham sandwich & 1 caesar salad at 5pm. It might be enough for a slim gal, but to me, i was practically starving all the way till 5pm. Now, at 12.25am, i'm starving again. with a fever. i felt cold. very cold while walking down the slope with the rain softly hitting on my tan skin. Now my nostrils are flaring hot steam.

And just when i tot i could unload all this stress (& maybe fever germs) online here, my choir president called and "wanted to check with me" whether i helped the IJ Home girl out of obligation (cos we're using the place for our choir for free) or whether i did this out of pure goodwill. I'm terribly disappointed. TERRIBLY. it's an insult i can never swallow.

and the tears started to flow. On and on and on.................

photo-whoring!

Allow me to indulge.. in my self-professed vanity & fake professionalism in photography -

1. Piggy piggy on the keyboard

For those in the know, this is the piggy soft toy featured in Korean comedy "我爱金三顺". My account director got it for me during her recent trip to Seoul. SOOOO cute! & how sweet of her!

2. KTV with sec sch gang

Had to do B/W for some pics cos my hp's pics turned out too grainy for the colored version.

(Top) Nomy trying to stop the evil-nix from taking her pic (cos she knows evil-nix will post it on her blog! =P)

(Top) Zhiwei, GC's gf, GC, Kian.

(Top) Sigh. Grainy again.

(Top) The only nice pic with Zai. Our nerdy revelation.

3. Cousins Vanity Affair

4. Lulu's farewell drink at Alleybar (20th May)

I have no idea why the pics came out so tiny after i collaged them using Photoshop. hmmm...

5. ME ME ME ME ME

No-Teeth.

No-Teeth.

Teeth.

No-Teeth.

.

.

.

.

.

Verdict: No-Teeth wins. I need braces. BADLY!

Boredom at work. =P

Big (2km) Walk

I'm gonna start being bimboic (like what they say of xiaxue's) and place mainly photos in this post.

BIG WALK - 21st May 2006

For a moment I thought it was Chingay can -

Look who was there as well - When i saw this, i was like "WTH?!"
What an excellent way to spread propaganda. For the uninitiated, Fa Lun Gong promotes a certain type of meditation similar to qiqong, but was banned in the Communist China as it was accused of creating a cult following.
All smiles for the camera, zhu & zai (pardon the shaky hands) -

"Ahem, you're taking a pic with Ms Singapore Manhunt" With Kian at the background. (They were saying my towel looks like a pageant title scarf. HAHAHA.)

The 3 girls! Shopping in suntec at 10am, or rather, it ended up being a search for my new specs! We ended up in Suntec's Mac for breakfast after only walking 2km (from 2km point to Suntec). :P

And after 3 hrs in YES! Eyewear Specialist, i finally found IT-

after zai left, here's me (with my new specs!) & zhu on the bus to Raffles Place -

(see how different our skin colors look. My sis said i look like a maid becos of my tan. bloody hell.)

Clifford Pier. WOAW, i never knew we had a pier. Reminds me of Hong Kong's Queen's Pier when I went there last May.

Change Alley (? TBC) - How ancient! All the shops are enclosed in these small cubicles. Each shop resembles a display unit within another big shop, very interesting! There's also a restaurant spanning over 3 of these units.

The Winnie The Pooh Shop:

Fashion shops:

After a round of shopping in the ghost town of Raffles Place, we sat down for tea at the only open bistro - the glass house concept Coffee Club.

Here's zhu attempting the xin look. (hur hur hur..:P)

My finished cappuccino. Served with a cinnamon stick & choc chip biscuit.

Not very fantastic actually. I prefer TCC's version. But their teatime special (top up $2.90 for a yummy & generous warm chicken pie), is very worth it. I din try it that day, but had a go for it few weeks back at the harbourfront outlet. Did i mention also that the harbourfront outlet has excellent ambience and has excellent service? :)

Pepper & Salt

*Yawn* Time for bed.

Edit: 28 May, 5.10pm

Company Lunch

Every last thursday of the month, all of us gets a treat from the company - free lunch!

The remains... oily fork&spoon, fish bones...

and what better accompaniment than our dear Mr Insect-who-fell-from-the-tree!

Diahorrea Outlook

My outlook at work just experienced diahorrea. Each email repeats itself a zillion times over each time i clicked "Send/Receive".

Imagine the shock my MIS guy will experience later when he sees my recreation club president sending me "THANK YOU SWEETIE" for so many times. What a way to get a scandal.

expectations falling short

one should really learn to have zero expectations from others. if not, the higher you expect from people, the more disappointed you'll be.

not everyone has the same amount of enthusiasm as you have. even at the brink of death.

not everyone is as committed as you yourself are. even at the brink of death.

not everyone believes in the same passions as you do. even at the brink of death.

it's important to not expect everyone to behave the same way or think the same way as you do. only then, would you not drown in frustration,

sometimes, it's really a fine line. how much you want to push someone else to do things according to what you think is the best. or whether you let them just do it according to how comfortable they are. it's really a grey area.

hmm. understanding humans are so difficult. it's so complex.

i was flipping through this book - The Tipping Point, from Times that day. It described how the very reaction between people, from subconscious movements like moving ur hands after someone reached out for something, is really a cause-and-effect chain reaction. every minute move that you make, is really due to what someone else is doing. it may be subconscious or consciously you're doing it.

that's where the question is. in the event of consciously asking someone to do things according to your beliefs and passion, how much should one push others to follow? who are you to tell others to do something?

it's really up to the individual to decide for him/herself what is more important in their lives, at each point.

the fetish continues

I'm gonna buy you, you, you, you and you in 10 years' time!!!! *burp!*

"Kay Lee" or "Ray Anne"?

Kayleigh or Rayanne?

Either one shall enter into my I.C. the next time i change it.

It was a night of......

Met Lemon yesterday night.

It was "The Book Cafe-Cheddar Baby Potatoes-Nacho Cheese-Starbucks Green Tea Frapp" night. I love The Book Cafe. Dun be fooled by the Florist disguise of a webpage they have; the atmosphere was excellent. I would ask my future dates to bring me there next time! ;P

We roamed from The Book Cafe near Robertson Quay after finishing our baby potato snack and drinks, to PS which was nearby. Wanted to pop in to the cinema to watch ANY movies available at that time (since we had the intention of buying nachos cheese), but unfortunately, the only one with the best timing - MI:III - only had the 1st 2 rows of seats left. NAH, neither of us wanted to go in. Zillions of years back when i sat at the 2nd row and watched Jurassic Park 2, i had a neckache and headache after - just imagine the towering dinosaurs and screaming shrieks and i had to shift my head UP UP UP in the midst of all the action. Boy, was i tortured! Same for Lemon, the not-too-bad show of "Take The Lead" was unfortunately pronounced "BAD MOVIE" cos she'd sat in one of the 1st 2 rows when she watched it. hahaha...it's really quite a nice show la, dear.

It was also a night of reminiscing the past, gossiping the present and dreaming the future.

Lots of stuff changed after i left, but i still feel like a part of the company. They're hiring, but i'd chosen to leave before, so it wouldnt be nice to apply again. (Like a good horse shouldnt return to eat grass that it'd passed?) Moreover, i'm a wandering grad not knowing what i want yet - am i to stay in advertising? or get back to marketing? or............?

Questions. No answers.

i have a great interest in human management, business flow, profits and just being there to see ALL these in action. That's why i've always wanted to be of managerial post ever since young. Perhaps its the fetish for control, to be in power. Not in the bad satanic way of cos. rather, i wld choose for the close working r/s between the manager & her subordinates. to be someone that ppl can respect. This is one thing i'm trying to build now, yet falling so many times in the process.

I would love to start up my own business one day. or own something note-worthy of praise.

Perhaps in 5 years' time. Time will pass by me in a flash, i know.

(Side-track)
8 years had passed since i first gained weight and i STILL havent lost them all!! in fact, the numbers are climbing the scale! YET, Lemon is shrinkingggggg as time passes~!!!! what the...?!!

Wakeboarding - pictures

Finally! the pictures!

Here i am...soaking in the water, after losing my grip. wat an ugly sight. *blah*

I got into the "Awful People" Boat! Here's the babes ~ Azreena, me, Jackie, Linda

and the only hunk on the boat - Chris

(ignore the weird angle my arm is placed, i have no idea why - it's like dat all along)

Look at how WHITE i look!!! s-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y. i need a bloody tan can.

Your Excellency

dumb, crazy, incredible.

My bali trip has been postponed. all becos of me.

we went to great lengths - getting frustrated at the other person, nights of bitching & cracking heads trying to find a replacement, finally snapping & getting names changed through the untrusting travel agency, paying extra & solved it - only to find that the trip STILL has to be cancelled. All becos of who? ME.

The biggest laughing stock on earth.

I shant post the "WHY" here for obvious selfish reasons. i'm alr the biggest fool on earth, do let me wallow in self-pity and maintain the minima bit of ego still left in me.

this will stay with me for life. i wonder how mistakes must i make in life before automatically knowing the "right" things to do. Am i that dumb?

Maybe.

this is what people do at their lowest - experiment with totally unnecessary & scientifically-unproven personality profile tests to console oneself -

Your Personality Profile

You are happy, driven, and status conscious.You want everyone to know how successful you are.Very logical, you see life as a game of strategy.A bit of a loner, you prefer to depend on yourself.You always keep your cool and your composure.You are a born leader and business person.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

wala. there you go. *self-esteem goes up one notch* I am REALLY an excellent person.

*rolls eyes*

books books books

i'm a bookworm worm worm

love books to death death death

here's wat i've bought in the last 3 weeks:

1. Memoirs of a Geisha
- By Arthur Golden
(Finished reading. P/S: i've always wanted to read this before the movie was screened. And btw, the movie sucks. Like a bimbo movie - Excellent directorship without content)

2. It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken : The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy
- By Greg Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
(The perfect excuse for being sad. Just some of the things gals buy during desperate times of needy.)

3. Perfect Phrases for the Perfect Interview
- By Carol Martin
(For that purrrfect interview nx time)

4. One Business 99 Lessons
- By Nanz Chong-Komo
(Cheers to my future business)

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5. The Secret History of Lucifer
- By Lynn Picknett
(An innate need to satisfy my curiousity after reading the Da Vinci Code)

6. Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World
- Haruki Murakami

7. Norwegian Wood (currently reading. intriguing writing style)
- Haruki Murakami

8. Tuesdays with Morrie
- Mitch Albom
(Hot from the oven, just bought this today. flipped thru this bk in kino some mths bk, always wanted to get it. Finally that i'm at borders today & it's 3 for 2, grab it i did.)

9. *New release* Spooning: A novel
- Darri Stephens & Megan DeSales
(Also hot from the oven, this is also a new release in Borders. An interesting novel about how a girl learns life lessons & techniques to deal w ppl thru cooking)