我要快乐

p/s: Thanks Lemon for sharing this song on her blog.

hahaha...was downloading this song, listening to it after reading this off my ex-colleague's blog when, guess what? my very funny mum came by with soup on one hand and exclaimed "oh! this song! u oso like? i heard it on radio and i like too!" and she started singing along "我要快乐..........." wahahahaha so cute. and her "radio" is 95.8FM can. she's even telling me to buy the Amei cd now. Wah! i never knew she's so hiphop. hee.

what a wet blanket. my voice's still not fully recovered yet, making me screech like some deaf tone dummy & end up in bots of coughing when i try singing..yucks!

i love this song's lyrics too - it's so meaningful to me. it's just so apt in describing how i've been feeling all these while. "duh", some people might say. but i'm just another human with feelings, eh? my story's not exactly like that in the song, but the aftermath feels exactly the same. know what i mean?

no, i tot i'm over it, but no i still am not. i cry like a sore loser when i'm alone, i drink and laugh just to cover up the hollowness now in me. fuck it, i dun really care who reads my blog anymore. i'm no longer hiding behind another identity - someone afraid to show her true self to the world. been telling myself - i'm only human, i'm ONLY human! it's time to stop being afraid of how others look at me and judge me, when i'm only being myself. i finally am allowing myself to tok openly about how i really feel, at the same time sounding childish, sounding stupid, sounding inexperienced. But really, i'm only being myself. Gimme a break. i should have been like this back when i was 15 or 16, but i'd withheld my true self to only my close clique. the rest see me as some ice queen with few words and maybe even "nice". hur hur. Only they'd seen my true crazy nonsensical self. only they know how cynical and unnice i really can be. only they know what a bitch i can be too. hahaha... Now, i'm showing more of myself to others, not afraid to express myself and embarass myself in public, cos i'm only learning to better myself with each day of blunders and mistakes. :)

Soh's little gesture today totally made my day today. :) She got her younger sis to pass me a bottle of ginger-orange water during tuition. So sweet of her. Though i hate ginger. hee.

i've got some much things to update, that one entry is usually not enuf.

Amei - 我要快乐

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐 我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨 我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的 全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的
把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有
我要快乐 我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨 我早应该割舍
我要快乐 哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的 全都是假的
我的决定是对的