This Post Marks the end of Kaylee Anne

Yep. It's over. Kaylee Anne's dead since 12 August 2007 10pm.

From there emerges the one and only original lady called Kaixin.

Without any screennames nor past, she has began her journey in this world in her authentic self.

Clearing out the skeletons of her closet, she has vouched to challenge and create a new possibility in life like never before.

Watch her, as she puts on her new "specs" called "possibilities".

The journey of Kaylee Anne has come to an end. Here.

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Guys are just selfish bastards.

I've learnt.

And it's true -

those attached just want to have fun without the price. COWARDY FUCKHEADS.

those unattached? they don't dare to be committed. But wants to have fun still. ASSHOLES.

i have 2 topics today.

1) "My Sassy Client" - refer to chinese version for a clearer definition.
2) "Rules of the game"

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1) I think i have sufficient backup, facts & information to write a book on that. real-life experience. can't be more accurate than that.

2) want to play the game? then follow the rules. and don't regret once u choose to step into the game. Don't get your whiny self involved. i'm telling this to myself.

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i think i'm letting my life spin into a cobweb-complicated level that pimples' popping everything out of control. my frown's there perpetually. my flu's not going away. my post-grad dentist just told me there is a high possibility i'll need micro-implants to pull my bigger, back molars frontwards. HORROR, i scream.

micro-implants - 'Micro Implants are inserted into bone in order to provide an "anchor" to pull the teeth towards. They are used together with fixed and removable braces'
http://www.ortho-centre.co.uk/Micro%20Implants.htm

i need some TLC!

Club personalities - unveiled

Recently i have this friend who gets himself drunk at clubs or bars every day in the weekend.

Why?

He cheated on his gf of 13 years. twice.





now i see a clearer picture behind those macho bodies, pretty faces at clubs.

there's a great variety of reasons that drive people to club.


1. Newbies keen to know more
The "noobs". To see and go "wahh"

2. Just wanna have fun or The groupie
These are those who just want to have clean fun. dance and drink.

3. The pick-up or flirt
There to get picked up and get "lucky" with another of e opposite sex

4. The reality avoiders
Temporary measure to forget the problems by getting drunk (and maybe get "lucky")

5. The celebrity
To see and be seen

the difference between an ad agency and a normal company

ad agency:

sharing your personal life openly during work hours is completely normal, regardless of sexual orientation

sex jokes are common

sex is a common "language" of affection

"flirting" openly with the opposite sex is 2nd nature and commonplace - flirting is the new friendly. no flirting = unfriendly.

no significant gender dominance or cluster.

no secret clustering or parties. the more the merrier.

the more different you look from the rest, the more "creative" you are deemed to be.

% of married people in the company = < 50%

normal local company:

your personal life is as private as your closet identity.

common, gender-neutral jokes only

lots of sniggering and hush-hush when talking about the opposite sex

on good terms with the opposite sex is deemed as "liking-each-other" or "flirting" by others

on good terms with the opposite sex is deemed as "you-like-me" by the opposite sex

drinking parties only open to male, unless female openly self-invites.

the more different you look from the rest, the more "open-fire aka suan-ing" you get.

% of married people in the company = > 80%

A New Milestone

Today (ok, yesterday) marks a very important and significant milestone in my life.

i finally passed my driving test! *grins wideeeeely*

3rd attempt. BUT,

i must EMPHASIZE that the 1st 2 times were > 2 years ago. so that doesn't really count. (teeheehee)

Anyway, extremely thrilled and happy (unlike alot of other testees who doesn't seem to be as excited as i was). to give u an idea, i called my family and mgr (cos my whole office is waiting for news of my test), sounding teenager-ish and high-pitched, like as if i've passed some scholarly exam. imagine "i pass!! i pass!!"

i still remember last time when i first took it. i scored a "B3" and even proudly announced it to my then-bf! hahaha...quite funny how i could even score so many demerit points. anyway, now i really appreciate tw, who had been very supportive of everything i did last time. even luffing w me when i told him i got "B3" for driving! :D Anyways, he's an extremely nice guy who deserves a better gal. :)

how did i even start on tw?!

Anyways.

life's so busy and stressful...skin's showing all the signs of stress and lack of sleep. sigh. no makeup can cover up.

just took up a yoga membership. am committed to starting a better lifestyle from now on. for about 2 weeks, i've been attending about 2 classes (1 hr each) per week. slowly, i've gotta increase to 4-5 times so that i can get my $$'s worth!

life will be better, i know! 24 - the start of a whole new exciting, free life. ;)

being unrealistic and its consequences

u think u can do it. so u jump.

taking that 99% risk. but u hope and u hope.

that u wun land on the wrong feet and twist your ankle and shame yourself.

...

....

.....

but u DID fall. and u fall bad.

u get blamed. and u just sulk.

No feeding of egos here!

i dun wanna feed egos no more!

A classic example of a self-centred freak -

XXX says:
how's the day?
XXX says:
me on 3/4 day mc.
XXX says:
how crap can that be.
XXX says:
no.. sorry on 1/4 day mc.
XXX says:
so crap.
XXX says:
still doing work now.
XXX says:
sian.
misha'se says:
same.

Is it really asking me about how my day was?!?!

SERIOUSLY!

dog rescue

The adorable face, the ever-curious stare..

We went on a dog adventure on Friday night, except this time round it was a death-scare.

her highness vomited her dinner violently and seemed like she was choking.

drove mum frantic. drove me frantic.

i cancelled my ktv with my previous creative team and rushed back.

But only to find her highness barking like usual, as if nothing happened, jumped at my friends and went berserk at the suggestion that we're going to bring her to the hospital, i.e. "gai-gai".

it was all a scare. had only been a flu virus that made her cough and vomit in an attempt to punge out her plegm.

all thanks to Her Highness, my friends became Doggie Rescuers overnight.

No wonder i'm so poor

Finally finishing doing my claims. Look at the amount incurred!

Dec: $306.05
Jan: $362.10
Feb: $380.36
Mar: $203.71

Grand Total: $1,252.22

No wonder I've been so low on cashflow!

Blame it on procrastination! :S

What a bummer.

reflection

"mirror mirror on the wall...

tell me who is the survivor of them all..."

life's been treating me pretty well recently. i'm not complaining.

*tick 1*

Finally made the move to the next level where better pay, higher title, nicer boss & greater challenges/opportunities reign.

i'll miss alot of things though -

- Dress like it's TGIF everyday

- Fun, family culture

- Bitching to my best fren-colleague nx door as and when i like

- Great colleagues (after loads of bickering and arguing and quarreling)

- Knowing almost 90% of the 170 staff there. (the nice o' feeling of being 'recognised'. oh, sucker i am.)

- All that wild clubbing (i know moving on doesnt mean no more clubbing. but once u're outta the 'scene', it's no longer the same. you no longer sing the same tune, do the same thing. miss, i will.)

Then again, i know these are the only things i'll miss. With this decision, i'll gain in many other challenging ways than i'll ever learn here. :)

Venturing into the unknown is never easy. But if you don't try, you'll never know what you'll learn.

*tick 2*

i had a really nice bob haircut.

(will post up when i grab a decent working camera)

*tick 3*

went for a short road trip with my choir pals to malacca. (and shopped myself crazy)

(pictures to follow soon)

hello, world.

Hi, im miss piggy.

im so favored im pasted on the work laptop cover.

so cutesy my colleague seated opposite me smiles everytime she sees it when the laptop is flipped open.

but too cutesy cos i became the cause of a boo-boo.

the laptop was unexpectedly needed and there i was, waving 'hi' and all.

and it was in a new prospect's place, in front of everyone new.

tsk.

but im cute. so, who cares? ;)

hello, world.

the impatient nut

I can't seem to stop spitting vemon at my own family.

~~~=====~~~

sister fussing about in the background....mumbles, "i'm going to sleep..."

me fussing about my new yellow buddha thread-"bracelet", not registering what sis said....

*click* off the lights went.

me: "WEI! CAN'T YOU SAY U'RE SWITCHING OFF THE DAMN LIGHTS?? I'M DOING SOMETHING HERE RIGHT?!!!"

sis: "what?! i already said i'm going to sleep!"

me: "no u didn't!" sis: "yes i DID!!"

me: thought for 2 secs and continued, "but you were mumbling, how the hell do i know u were talking to me!?"

this went back & forth for a while...

sis: "so you still want to quarrel issit?!!" (voice raises)

Stunned for 2 secs again, i replied: "so u're saying it's my fault for not hearing u lah!?!"

sis: "it's not your fault but it's also not mine wat! u still want to continue arguing issit?!"

me: *speechless*

*click* i switched on my table lamp. sis went to bed.

~~~=====~~~

Another incident...

ma: "#$%@#!!! I ALREADY SAID SO MANY TIMES YET YOU STILL SIT THERE FROZEN NOT HELPING ME!!"

me: "WTH?! what?! i didn't hear anything HOR!"

(honestly, i don't know whether she asked for me or not cos i'm so used to her naggings, they've become part of my environment "noise".)

ma: "you ah, so lazy...blah blah blah blah..."

me: *whatever*

kid bro: "oei. mama call u so many times to help her set e table for pai pai alr, why u still not moving, see, she screaming now."

me: "what?"

continues to stare at my computer, dazing and thinking about my own stuff....

then....

ma: "come n clear gigi's newspaper! very dirty alr!"

me: *still didn't register*

ma: *repeats x 2*

me irritatedly: "WHAT?!"

then the past 3 nags suddenly seemed to settle down like dust onto my memory bank, and i started moving slowly towards the kitchen to clear gigi's mess.

~~~=====~~~

sigh...what the hell is wrong with me? i think i've been behaving like a dispirited, distracted soul since...i think, about 2 years back?

everytime i'm mean to my own family, i really feel very bad. especially towards my mom. but i can't seem to stop it. it's getting habitual.

i just went for tarot card reading that day with soh at katong mall. we're so auntie, i think, to actually believe in such stuff. anyway, mary ann, our psychic, was intuitive and spot-on. she said baby actually helps me to grow up to be a woman without me realising it and i've lots to improve in terms of communication. and that baby actually really sayangs me deep down. actually i know that deep down too. :) and we're strong despite alot of fights (which is often becos of poor communication).

countless ppl had asked me why i still stick with this guy despite him not meeting the perfect guy criteria or sometimes, my own criteria. often i don't have the answer. i just can't give up on someone i still have feelings for, i guess. and i think the same goes for him. i told lian one day - "as long as both of u have feelings for each other, a rs would not be able to end. no matter what. it just wouldn't end." So i guess i can only be patient in the meantime, learn to be a better woman then wait for my fairytale ending.......oh like real! mary ann said that reality is reality, while fairytales always have a good ending cos they cut the story short - they don't say what happens after "happily ever after". Very true, indeed. Even if tarot card reading weren't accurate, at least mary ann was a wise old lady. had a very insightful session with her.

my supervisor, someone who has dated her schoolmate for 10-ish years, married for 5 years, said this to me one day when we were on the topic of relationships, "It doesn't matter what other people think. if you love a person, if he's the giver, that's a bonus. But if he's not and u have to work doubly hard, you'll just have to do that cos he's the one you choose to love."

ahh...well...

we'll see. i get upset & desperate once in a while when i can't tahan the "silence" anymore. it's a real struggle for me sometimes, the impatient nut! argh!

i really should focus on other things to accomplish in my life for the time-being -- and develop myself in other ways, for example, grow up and stop being a meanie & a procrastinator. -.-"'

or complete the million things on my to-do list....

1) continue driving lessons & get my license by july this year (cos that's when my advance theory is gonna expire...for the 2nd time!!)

2) sign up for my studiowu dance classes (it's been 2 long months since i've got hold of those vouchers!)

3) tidy my uberly messy wardrobe (i havent been able to find any clothes to wear everyday.)

4) file my 1-year worth of filing backlock @ work

5) do my 3-month worth of timesheets & expenses (that's maybe $700-800 of my own blood & sweat trapped with the company)

-.-"'

what else can i say but "Gambatte!", neh?

~~~~~~

now for some visual update...

See "who" i saw last week in the market! Baby Gigi! hehe.. no, i mean, Qiqi!

This little darling is soooo cute. the pics don't really do it justice. and it's a girl, just like gigi! in fact, she's called Qiqi! and 2 months old! just like gigi when we first got her. :D


















she's adorable, eh? ;o)

And, Dad's got a new signboard just before CNY! Design courtesy of good old SS - my ultra nice creative colleague. :D Cost courtesy of me lar.

Dad's been getting alot of "attention"from his fellow stall-owners & customers becos of this...

A little quiz - Could you tell what the drawings are on each side of the panel?

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Chinese Panel
LHS: Onions
RHS: Can of Sardines

English Panel
LHS: Potatoes
RHS: Mushrooms

Many of the old ah-peks and old ah-bengs dunno how to appreciate art.. keep teasing my mom about the Can of Sardines drawings.. say they look like slippers..-.-"' super dotdotdot. and one tattoo uncle say the potatoes look like bread lor. so malu.

anyway although i myself couldnt really figure out the can of sardines too initially (heheheh), the rest looks recognizable immediately leh.

nonetheless, the more i look at it, the more i like it - not traditional & ah-pek looking like the usual ones, and the color & drawings - very "nai kan" (aka "won't get tired of the design")!

The other day, while searching for tarot card readers at maxwell road, me & soh chanced upon this uber-licious Korean restaurant at Murray Terrace - just beside Maxwell House. It's called "Korea Janchijib".

Both of us ordered the famous Bibimbap in a stone bowl....look at the pretty colors!

It was priced at $14/ea, and when we ordered we thought it was pretty steep for just one bowl of rice...until we saw this....

look at the number of side dishes or Banchan we've got! ....and to end it off, a very yummy rice-with-ice dessert too!! totally unexpected!

The chilled & crunchier version of Sikhye - a traditional sweet korean rice beverage, though usually served as dessert.

And it's only $30.80 in total. 5 out of 5 stars for this, definitely. *thumbs up*

Realisation

it hit me suddenly.
why you tried to stop this rs from happening right from the start.

you did it right,
for you knew you can't commit.

ha! after so long, i didnt realise it until now.

silly of me to even ask for you to be the one giving now,
when you were convinced by me that i'll be the giver right from the start.

silly of me to blame you for not doing your part,
when you were the one who was told i'll be the willing one to give it all.

i'd told you we'll be fine even with all the obstacles in the world.
i reassured you.
i brought hope into your life again.
But only to bring it crashing down with my wimps & cries about your non-giving.

I convinced you to be loved by me,
but the blinded me failed to see there'll be complications later on.
the complications that u FORSAW and made u want to stop us from continuing - right from the start.

it was a silent understanding/agreement/promise we made that day - that i'll be the giver,
and you'll be the receiver.
full stop.

But overestimated myself, i did.
and an overpromise, i made.
One that i can't fulfill.
One that I'd now failed.

who am i to blame,
but the overly confident gal right from the start?

I'm only human,
i'll tell myself from today onwards.

I don't want to underdeliver on promises anymore,
then blame others for blaming me.

I find peace with myself today.
22 Feb 2007.

The prettiest gadget

i want an iPhone.

i'm sure i want an iPhone.

Dead sure.

A bad week

Some say Sunday's the beginning of a new week (check: calendars). I say Sunday's the closing day of the week.

or, a bad week.

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Mon
8.00am: Woke up late and reached office at 9.45am. well, as usual.

Tue
8.00am: Woke up late AGAIN. same time to reach office.

5.05pm: Mom called. "Your father's in the hospital."

6.25pm: Reached SGH. Dad had a mild heart attack. Still in A&E.

7.25pm: Dad sent to ICA Ward (one step lower than ICU). Male staff nurse lightened the atmosphere. A stupid malaysian medical officer came along to explain the situation in deeper detail but made it sound worse with use of "you're in a very dangerous condition now" tone & manner. Understood that dad will be undergoing scope tomorrow morning to see extent of arteries being blocked. Did not know that op will be done at the same time.

8.25pm: Er Gu & family came.

9.25pm: Dad's youngest bro & family came.

11.30pm: Left SGH. Couldnt bear to leave Dad alone. :(

Wed
12.00pm: Received sms from elder bro that scope changed to 2pm.

2.00pm: Called SGH. Told that dad hasnt gone for scope yet. Will be later. Spoke to boss. Was told i can only take 1/2 day leave max even if i need to take cos currently short-handed. Felt like quitting immediately.

3.00pm: Called again. Still havent gone for scope.

4.30pm: Called AGAIN. Dad's in the scope. Told by nurse that she alr told one of my bros that they'll call us when he's out. (Read: Nurse's irritated) Relayed msg to sis.

5.40pm: Received sms that dad's out from scope & doing ok.

6.20pm: Boss drove me down to the SGH bus stop. Dad seemed to be in pain. Dad said that 2 of his main arteries were blocked, so they inserted 2 "balloons" there. (I thought inserting anything would only come after the scope during a separate op?!) Saw some blood stains on his pillow. Didnt see his doctor at all. Told that team doctor only comes in between 8-10am.

8.30pm: Er Gu came again. With 3rd uncle's daughters and youngest uncle & his family. dad's friend came too. Dad advised 3rd uncle's daughters to tell their dad to stop smoking. (What an irony)

10.30pm: Dad's fren drove us home.

Thu
12.00pm: Received sms that dad will be transferred to normal ward.

8.20pm: couldnt get off work earlier - reached SGH. Still no doc. Asked to see doc. Told again that team doc (who op-ed on my dad) is only ard from 8-10am. Asked to see on-call doc (i.e. doc on duty). On-call doc was actually standing right next to me. When i turned over, she gave a look like she's caught red-handed. Smelled a shrink of responsibility coming out of on-call doc when she said she doesnt know much and its better for the team doc to call us tml morning and all she can do is to read off the chart. (bloody-hell, i tot.) Fine, i said, just read off the chart and explain whatever you know to us at least. Said she'll come into the room. just 2 mins later, she rec'd a call and said she has an A&E case to attend to and would probably take some time so cant explain to us. Better to get team doc to call us tml morning, she said again. Fine, i said. (what a bummer!)

9.15pm: Saw on-call doc walking in to check on the patient on the bed next to us. Saw us, but didnt bother walking over and explaining to us despite having returned from her supposedly A&E case. (what a "great" sense of responsibility, I tot.)

9.40pm: We left. Understood that tml am dad will be having his blood test. and will be discharged. Plans were made for sis to take half day leave to bring dad home.

Fri
9.00am: Walking to office. Received call from the same malaysian medical officer. Told that dad going for some scan. couldnt explain properly what that scan is about. The conversation went like this -

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MO: "hi i'm calling to let you know your dad will be undergoing XXX scan, it's a scan to er.....it's just a scan to check whether he can be discharged today or not."
Me: "huh?? I tot it'll be a blood test??"
MO: "err it's just a scan to check, the staff nurse will be able to explain to u in details later."
Me: "hello? you have to be specific! what do you mean by it's a scan to check? we didnt know about this supposedly scan?!"
MO: "err no, it's just a check to make sure he's ok to be discharged. And i just called to let you all be ready."
Me: *PANIC* "HUH!?" Be ready?!?!?! For what?!
MO: "Staff nurse will call you again later to keep you updated when he's out of the scan."

*************
Me was left feeling puzzled and extremely worried.

9.10am: Called sis. Told her what happened. She's also puzzled and dunno whether to take leave or not.

12.10pm: Nurse called to say that dad's ok, fit for discharge. Called sis, she said she's on her way down to SGH. Understood from sis that dad has high blood pressure & high cholestrol. Thankfully no diabetics.

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Dad is 60 this year. He smokes heavily (20 sticks/day, he claims) and drinks beer EVERYDAY.

Plus with the stupid shit i get from SGH staff (minus the male nurse on Day 1), i really feel unsafe.

Things learnt:
1) Once you get your arteries blocked (whether it's fats or tobacco), there's no way to clear them. Docs will place either balloons to expand the arteries, or create a bypass.

2) Any surgery comes with risk. not just risk of success/failure. risks of getting other problems like kidney failure, numbness in leg, etc etc.

3) Every one in the family loves & cares for each other. Me & Bro started talking during these few days.

4) Mom's actually very smart, contrary to my earlier belief that she probably has a mental problem. She "siam" accusations faster than my dad can blame her. Now i know. *wink* But of cos, she always "siam" until so obvious, it makes everyone irritated with her.

5) Dad's old le. Mom's 55 this year. I'm 24 this year. Sis's 27 this year. Bros' 30 & 19 this year. I'm supposed to be grown up and sensible. I'm supposed to help a hand in the family too.

I can still laugh & joke today becos i know my dad's fine. for now at least.

p/s: Met up with mel-chan & lis yesterday for ktv. All our moods were very low. Both of them have big serious issues to deal with this week too. All the songs we picked were sad, slow and depressing.

What a week.

Summer Chicks

Been wanting to get myself a brand new proper set of bikini for ages, Finally laid my hands on a set of Australian Summer Chicks ring halter bikini. (The ironic thing is, their web store locator says it's found in Kuta, Bali, but when i went there last July we saw no bikini shops! or did we? damn!)

It aint easy finding the correct fit - the kinds i think will fit, usually doesnt. Esp for the bottom. I had to change mine to a normal string one cos the original boyleg design made my already-not-so-flattering-looking thighs look really huge. Bikini shopping usually meant trying and trying and trying. AND, good quality ones are $$$$. esp when they say theirs came from "australian, usa, france, blah blah blah...". Mine cost me a good 66 bucks. man. burnt a hole in my pocket over 2 skimpy pieces.

Anyways i'm a happy girl, cos i finally have a proper looking bikis in my wardrobe! :)

The sweetest card...

...from my 2 little nieces.


i still love to call them "little" though they're already 13 & 16 this year.


It's not the present, not the wrapping....but the sweet home-made birthday card they made me. It was actually a white canvas painted with pale yellow (on the front cover) and a highlighter yellow on the inside. *smiles*

And for the present? Here's what they sms-ed me, "Hope you'll hug this to bed at night. We call it Kaylee No. 2"


For the uninitiated, my chinese zodiac is Miss Piggy.

There you go - "Kaylee No. 2"! :))

p/s: More birthday updates to come!

Of Azabu Sabo, Mel-chan, Aldo & Fergie

An outing with Mel-chan goes like this:

*SCREECHES*

"HI DEAR!!" x 2

*hugs*

"How have you been doing??"

*rattle, rattle, rattle*

Met up with millicent (aka mel aka mel-chan) a couple of weeks ago. We had a terrific, terrific time, as usual, chatting up, being silly and gushing over mango, topshop, zara, dorothy perkins, aldo, isetan, and what-have-yous.

we were at marina square, another of our fav spots and headed to Azabu Sabo for our fav green tea dessert. I swear it's the most yummilious dessert EVER!! Next time we'll try the main course.

Let's leave it to the pictures to do the talking ---

Green tea ice-cream

Rating: 5/5

Comments: Warning - VERY VERY GOOOOD

Yummy warm rice-cake in red-bean paste

Rating: 3.5/5
Comments: I love the red bean paste cos it's sweeeet! Though with our full stomach, the sticky glutinous rice-cake was abit too much.

Finally, mel-chan bought me a pressie! me doubly-happy!

It's a lovely Aldo bag that i'd fancied some time back, and the music CD of Fergie - the princess of hip-hop (the music i'm so into right now). Of cos, to top it too, a sweet hand-written card. Thank you, mel. :)

Newly certified =))

After months of learning, preparation, tests (200m swim, 10min float, 2 written tests and 20 skills test in both swimming pool & open water), i'm finally a certified Open Water Diver. :)

*pats myself*

=))

I found my love..

Remember the Burberry craze?

The luxury, pride, and joy(!) of owning a Burberry item...


...imagine my exhilaration when i found an exact pair.........in......

CHARLES & KEITH!!

at one-tenth of the cost!!!!!!!!!

"Hail the holy C&K for making duplicates that few know, may God bless thee..."


This is like treasure spotting! OMG, i practically screamed and jumped up n down in C&K Parkway. Mel-chan had to stop me. (though she herself was as breathless with joy over her other newly-found shoey pal..hehe).

Check this out -

*GRINS FROM EAR TO EAR*

Arent they lovely? (Not to mention, they look almost identical to the original one) *Grins, grins, grins* And becos this doesnt have the monogram, no one can say it's a fake!! teeheehee! Esp when it looks so damn good - Burberry's or not.

And can i just digress - There're 2 big reasons for not wearing anything monogram-ed:

1) One-hundred million other people carry the exact same thing as you, one can spot it from a distance distinctively (one may argue that precisely becos of that, you can tell immediately it's a branded bag. But read reason no. 2.).

2) No one believes you're carrying The Real Thing, 'cos how many ppl can afford a $1000 LV bag?

*Disclaimer for my many friends (& sister) who dig monogram-ed bags, shoes, wallets - u're still my dearest friends, no matter what. :D*